The Pain Keeps Us Going
by Starsinger1000
Summary: Just a little something that popped up in my head: While Reid and Morgan look for clues in a victim's bedroom, the victim's sister catches them joking around. But she doesn't quite react as expected and leaves Reid astounded at this young woman...


This one just wouldn't let go off me=) I may work it out into a whole story, but for the time being it'll stay as it is. It's my first time writing English, so please, be gentle with me!

I don't own anything. Unfortunately. But I'd marry Reid right away!=)

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„Looks like he was a really tidy young boy", concluded Derek, when he opened a Dresser and found pairs of socks accurately arranged next to each other inside.

„Yeah, or his mom did the job.", answered Spencer, who was going through Blake's desk drawers.

„Which type were you?", Derek asked.

„Definitely Hotel Mama. At least until she was too sick to care anymore. You?"

Derek didn't amplify Spencer's reference about his mother's mental health but instead answered his question.

„Nope. My Mom would have unleashed hell on me if I'd asked her to clean my room."

„So you were always a tidy one?"

Derek laughed.  
„No. I just didn't care until I noticed I didn't have any clean shirts left."

„Ah. And by then the empty KFC-boxes probably piled up in the corner, right?"  
„What do you think of me?" Spencer glanced over to Derek who returned the look. „It was McDonald's."

Spencer started laughing along with Derek while continuing to search the boy's bedroom.

As he turned, still laughing, he stopped dead. In the doorway stood Ariadne, staring at them. He coughed slightly and shared an awkward glance with Derek. People always felt offended and were left speechless when they discovered that the agents didn't share the same traumatizing grief for their family members or friends.

„I...apologize.", he said, looking at Ariadne. Her face blank she shook her head and took a few steps into the room.

„No, it's fine. I understand. In your job you have to distance yourself from the pain, else you'll go insane with all the sick crazy."

Surprised Spencer lifted his eyebrows.

„Yeah, that's...that's right. But still, we shouldn't have-"

„Frankly, I don't care, what anyone thinks.", Ariadne interrupted him, inspecting a red, dusty model aircraft with her slender fingers. „ I don't give a damn what you or the neighbours or the media or anybody else thinks." She turned looking straight at Spencer. „The only thing I care about is that my brother is gone. He's gone. And he won't be coming back." Spencer could see the tears behind her eyes, the tears she wouldn't let fall. He could see the person behind the masquerade she put on for her parents, the one of the independent, strong young woman. But in reality she just wanted to break down and cry and weep and scream until the hurt and anguish vanished. Which he very well knew, would never happen. „I wish, _I _could distance myself from the all this, but I can't. And I wouldn't. Because right now, this pain is what keeps me going. This rage inside me, this anger? It pushes me. It pushes me to the point of numbness. And it will keep me sane until I can look this man in the eyes and ask him why. Why did an innocent, fourteen-year-old boy have to suffer like this? And then I wanna tell him to rot in hell. I wanna tell him that I hope, he suffers a thousand times worse than my brother did because of him. That's all I wanna do. So like I said: I don't care. I understand why you do this, how you keep the nightmares away. Just do what you have to do. Just, please, promise me one thing: That you will find this guy. That you will find him alive, so I can finally admit the pain and get it over with."

Ariadne didn't break the eye contact with Spencer, and Spencer didn't dare looking away either. Then he stepped toward her, so close that their toes were almost touching in his Converse and her pink socks. Then he lifted his left hand-the one not covered with a glove-and gently rested it on the place where her shoulder and neck connected and looked down into her deep blue eyes.

„I promise", he whispered.


End file.
